Jewish = Muslim

Indian hardliner ‘nationalists’ have plumbed solidly for Israel in the current conflict.

Palestine deserves destruction, they say, because it has housed terrorists who have been annoying Israel for decades. Israel has been patient. No one can say Israel has not been patient. But now it has struck, and it will rip threats to its nation out by the very roots, and stomp on them till they’re dead, dead, dead!

Now, it so happens that Palestinians are mostly Muslims. And that is what triggers the orgasm of approval from our ‘nationalists’, not their sense of fairness or balance. Indian ‘nationalism’ exists superficially to combat ‘western culture’, but it’s roots draw true sustenance from Islamphobia, and fear of Muslim dominance in the state. So for them, Muslim-bashing anywhere is always good news. Couched in Israel-Palestine dynamics, they see the constant ‘oppression’ of a patient India by rabid Pakistan, and wish fervently that India would ‘teach a lesson’ to Pakistan in similar fashion.

There is just a tiny problem with this analogy, and it is this: Palestinians ‘terrorised’ Israel because Israel was carved out of Palestinian land without their consent, to house a specific religious minority.

Much, in fact, like Pakistan was carved out of British India – in the face of immense public opposition (and suffering).

So when Indian ‘nationalists’ go berserk with righteous joy at the suffering of Muslims, and defend Israel’s violence fervently, they should remember that in their tortured “West Bank is the subcontinent” analogy, Israel is really Pakistan.

The delights of your ignorance, my fellow patriots. The delights of your ignorance.

The Answers in the Catch

Having just found my father’s tattered copy of Catch 22 in our last unpacked box from home, I have been catching up on my Joseph Heller after years.It is wonderfully liberating to read a book from an era where depth of thought was not alienated from wit, and wit was not alienated from a social conscience. I look around at popular culture today, and find far too many fart jokes getting in the way of pro-people critique of power, which is what comedy is supposed to achieve politically. Instead, people are now convinced that comedy is ‘just a joke’.

Chew on this bit by Heller. He is a very funny writer, and Catch 22 is a very readable book, but it also raises questions we’d do well to think about from time to time.

“Nately was instantly up in arms again. “There is nothing absurd about risking your life for your country!” he declared.

“Isn’t there?” asked the old man. “What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can’t all be worth dying for.”

“Anything worth living for,” said Nately, “is worth dying for.”

“And anything worth dying for,” answered the sacrilegious old man, “is certainly worth living for.”

Review: Home Deli, Mumbai

(Cross-posted here:

With a joy I can scarcely express in words, I am now free of my vomit-inducing, vampiric shithole of a workplace. Since the final conversation with my divisional head yesterday, I couldn’t stop humming. Several times I actually broke into song. My life was a dull monochromes full of mentally-unstable monsters, and in a few minutes, it was transformed into a vibrant landscape of happiness. The joy, the joy, the joy! Swimming, painting, sewing, travelling, friends, family, writing, baking – here I come!

The only thing I will miss about the job (apart from a few people) is being able to order regularly from Home Deli. Since I’ve been ordering from the place days before I actually saw it, I assumed it was a semi-swank corporate-neighbourhood joint, dispensing as they did delicious chicken-salad and ham-pineapple sandwiches, plus pizzas practically baked in cheese. Turns out it’s a spanking-clean hole-in-the-wall, with friendly – and occasionally a little saucy – staff.

It’s one of the joys of Bombay, I suppose, that even inexpensive holes-in-the-wall serve something as local as a bangda-thali right along with ham-and-cheese toasties and celery-onion sandwiches with house-made mayonnaise. Indeed, for the vegetarians around Prabhadevi, Home Deli provides a certain amount of pure-veg coolth. No longer do you have to settle for masala toast (although it does cost you forty bucks less). You can have grilled paneer in your sandwich, wok-tossed vegetables, corn and leafy greens… and lots and lots of cheese. If you eat everything, order the ‘non-veg sandwiches’ (as the menu puts it). They vary between excellent and very good, and come with finger-chips and coleslaw. The coleslaw is rich enough to put between two pieces of bread and made into a whole new sandwich, so it’s a win-win for you whichever way you look at it.

For people who prefer more substantial lunches, I personally recommend the Chinese set-meal. It comes with the day’s starter, a large portion of vegetarian or chicken fried rice, a gravy-dish with either vegetables or chicken, and a little dollop of sauce and salad. Sometimes, the starter is disappointing – such as three tiny onion rings – but on other days it is a meal in itself, like a heap of batter-friend cauliflower (yum!). So ask for the day’s special before you order. Of course, if you wish to spend more, you can order individual dishes – there will be enough to share between two people. The dishes mentioned above come between Rs. 65 to Rs. 150.

The two things I’ve never tried at Home Deli are their biryani and their thaali. I am picky about my biryani, and I didn’t fancy unpacking a huge meal of dal, chawal, subzi, fish, chutney and curd on our tiny cafeteria tables. Now that I’ve left the job though (yaay!), perhaps some day I shall just amble over with my Kindle, and have a nice, long, sit-in desi lunch there.

Indian Elections 2014: Close-up 3

From Maheshwar Peri’s blog on Outlook India:

I was an undecided voter. I was exploring my options. UPA II did not deserve another chance. Modi personally never gave me good vibes. Blame the publicity, but I never saw any compassion in him, even in BJP posters. But BJP was still an alternative because AAP was not fit and ready to govern, at least for five more years. I had a lot of issues with AAP. So I was veering towards BJP despite my discomfiture. We still have to make a choice and NOTA is not an option for me. I wanted to vote for stability. For me, Gujarat is one of the better governed states. I also did not want a Baba, Amma, Behenji, Netaji, Didi or Bhayyaji to be the next Prime Minister or even interfere in governance.

As I kept expressing myself without bias on Facebook and elsewhere, the Modi fans went after me. They were organized, belligerent and at times scary. Many questioned my intelligence and a few even my integrity. Last night, I analyzed few people who took it on themselves in leading this charge—the hardcore Modi fans (I personally don’t think there is any BJP left). And what I found was revealing. Throughout the posts, I saw hatred, criticism or trivialization. No serious discourse based on facts and reasoning. Liberal use of epithets like “Sickular”, “Paid Media”, “Khan-gressi”, “Pakistani Agent”, “Traitor”, “ISI Agent”, “CIA Agent”, “Saint Topiwal”, “Fakeriwal”, “Aaptard” was common. The name calling was personal and perverse.

I encourage each of you to do a similar exercise. I can’t even wish them off as over-enthusiastic supporters. They are so committed to Modi that it is well nigh impossible to be objective in future. Unknown to us, we have created a lynch mob. But then, they have only learnt it from their leader who had used the “Mian” in Musharraf, and the “James Michael” in Lyngdoh to create insecurities and mass votes. Even as a PM aspirant, he peddles epithets such as “Shahzada” (Rahul) and “Pakistani friend” (Arvind Kejriwal) and vitiates the discourse. A leader who has only created a legion of followers but no second line of leadership needs a stronger opposition in Parliament. The checks and balances have to be stronger.

The agenda for positive change, good governance and development are mere statements that have got lost in the election carried forward by his followers. What started off as a positive campaign soon descended into bullying. Development is no longer the narrative. The bias was such that the same people who quoted Time (“The Under Achiever” cover on Dr.Manmohan Singh) started criticising and questioning The Economist and The Guardian for ‘interfering’ in India’s internal affairs. Hypocrisy has become synonymous with politics.

And then yesterday, a beast amongst us slapped Arvind Kejriwal. It was ferocious. It was brutal. It was inhumane. It was meant to physically hurt. As AK held his face, it was heart-breaking. He had a black eye and a swollen cheek. And the BJP bandwagon took to the streets and launched their attack in a highly synchronized manner. It was celebration time. The slap was a butt of jokes. AK was despised, derided, laughed at, attacked, and violated. It was appalling. Each time as I watched the slap, my heart wept. Is this the society we have come to be?

Last night, My decision was made. There was greater clarity. I don’t want a society where hatred wins over love, violence over peace, anger over amity, frown over smile, sternness over calmness, negativity over positive feelings. I don’t want a society where the mobs decide the agenda cleverly planted by a handful of people (we have seen it in 1984 and 2002).

I decided. I will vote with my conscience. I will vote for peace. I will reject divisiveness. I will vote for change. I vote to bring in a good opposition in the parliament. I vote for AAP.

Indian Elections 2014: Close-up 2

Yesterday on the train, I heard a rehash of a recent Facebook conversation I’ve had. A group of people (mostly supporting Modi) bemoaned the decline of the nation since independence, the growth in corruption, the general rotting of the social and moral structures – the usual cheesy whine (if you forgive the lame pun). To the last person, they blamed politicians and the government for this, and agreed with each other that nothing good could ever come of India.

The people on my Facebook, bless them, have the long view of greater good, and hence they oppose the dictatorial politics of Narendra Modi. My co-passengers on the train were blinded by the irrational hope for a majoritarian government, that will put troublesome minorities in their place and enforce righteous discipline. But both groups missed the mark, in my opinion, because they both disowning the responsibility they had, as members of the voting public, in nurturing our poisonous, sectarian political climate. It is our susceptibility towards divisiveness, after all, that has trained our politicians to believe that on-record religion and ethnic talk and off-record violence is all they need to sail into office. And if we want a stronger India, we have to shake off our personal discomforts with difference, no matter how uncomfortable it makes us initially.

And honestly, despite a political system so rotten it stinks, I don’t personally think India is beyond hope. Quite the contrary, in fact (although I do have my moments of hopeless cynicism). But if we are to actually go beyond moaning on social media and thriving on the “likes” and “shares” our oh-so-politically-aware commentaries earn, we need to first drop the automatic, frothing-at-the-mouth defensiveness and admit straight up that our own prejudices and apathy got us into the mess we’re in. It got us the politicians we have, the scams we pay for, and the social policing we suffer. A thriving citizen’s media is a great thing, but active involvement in communities and local politics is the only way this country will actually develop (and by that I don’t mean sprout more shopping malls).

If we want a better future, we absolutely HAVE to take ownership of our past. So stop getting mad when someone says you’re part of the problem. Everyone in a failing society is part of the problem in some way or another. Own up to it, and then try to grow beyond it. A seed doesn’t burst into a tree in thin air. It needs the dark and dirty depths for a strong beginning. This election season, that’s probably a good analogy to bear in mind.

Indian Elections 2014: Close-Up 1

My cabbie this morning was in a chatty mood, and for an hour we discussed politics, politics, politics. His chief grouse seemed to be that “Hindustan” – India – hasn’t been declared a “Hindu rashtra” or a Hindu nation yet. In the same breath, he said religion was personal, and what he would vote for is progress, ergo the vote for Modi.

Usually, in circs like this, I allow only curiosity free rein, because there is something very paternalistic about lecturing a working-class person on his electoral choices without first making an effort to understand where those choices come from. But the onset of elections has probably made me more anxious than I realised, because for the first time, I engaged in a gentle debate, asking him what concrete benefits “a Hindu rashtra” would bring him, and how the certain riots that would follow such a declaration would affect him and his.

Locked in a cab on a barely-moving highway, the two of us had very little choice but to listen to each other, and consider each others point of view. In the end I conceded that I really knew very little about caste Hindu anxieties in and around Lucknow, and he conceded that perhaps he wouldn’t benefit from the Hindu rashtra label after all. We also had a very involved conversation about what “pragati” should actually mean, and how little served it is by our political parties, but that’s a post for another day. He and I are good friends now, though. I have his number and know about his wife and family, and we have a pact of giving him the first call whenever “sir” and I have somewhere to go.

This, By the Way, is My Country

This is an extract from the online news portal Gaylaxy:

The two policemen, in their mid-20s, were posted on duty during the Ahmedabad gay pride march held on December 1st, in which the victim had participated. Today as the man was returning to his car, the policemen recognized and accosted him, asking if he had taken part in the march (images of the victim were seen on the print and electronic media which had covered the pride march). On his confirmation, the cops demanded to see his license and papers and started hurling abuses at him. The victim protested and tried to get away, but the cops started beating him up with sticks and forced themselves on him, abusing him all the time and remarking ‘jab poori duniya se marwai hai, toh humse bhi marwa le’ (when you have got fucked by the whole world, then get fucked by us too) . The man returned home battered and bruised with multiple wounds on his body. The cops were not drunk and were in full control of their senses.

Is the Pope Catholic? Apparently, He’s Hindu.

I woke up this morning and found that Pope Francis – the gods bless him – has turned into a Hindu gentleman, emphasis on gentle.

According to various news sites on the internet, which have gone into a bit of a tizzy overnight, Papa Francis apparently said “[a]ll religions are true, because they are true in the hearts of all those who believe in them. What other kind of truth is there?”. This, in essence, is the Hinduism we grew up with in Calcutta, embodied by the pithy saying “joto mawt toto poth” – there are as many roads (to god) as there are opinions/ideas about it.

And it’s not just me saying it. Casual references to this general approach can be found scattered through our cultural productions. For instance, Syyad Mujtaba Ali (my favourite writer), while describing an encounter with a newly-minted Austrian missionary on a warpath against “the savages” of Africa and Asia, says he finds quite unable to return the misguided man’s vitriol because “I am an Indian. From my earliest childhood I have heard that all religions are equal, and one should not use race as a bait in conversations”.

It feels good that this feeling has now gone global, especially since self-appointed protectors of “Indian culture” (à la an invented ‘Hinduism’ chiefly made up of Victorian British moral conceits) seem to have lost track of Hinduism’s finer ideological roots completely… and perhaps very deliberately. It’s difficult to rouse a rabble if your banner reads “Mind the karma and carry on”. If the Vatican now wants to take it up instead, I’m delighted.

Also, cynic though I am, I don’t care what the anti-Catholic conspiracy theorists are saying about the dove-like global image of this Father Love. Even if the holy daddy is only doing the “progressive” all-embracing love-talk to improve the PR of the Church, and is not yet going to walk the walk as easily as he talks the talk, he’s still a downright goddamned radical just for caring what the world thinks of Catholicism, and for taking it into positive account. It’s been centuries that organised religion has been used to tear people and things apart. It’s about bloody time it did some band-aiding.

Stay the path, lovely Father. Eventually, walk the walk as you talk the talk. Have a lovely year, and let the world have a lovely year with you. Kisses.

Hello yourself, good Father. Lovely to have you.

HuffPost Lauds Man For Telling Woman to Eat His Dick

Yes, it’s a bit hard to believe, what with the indie pro-oppressed groups rep HuffPost has build for itself. But this is how it promotes its story about Elan – a chap who allegedly produces the shows Bachelor and Bachelorette – antagonising an irate woman during a flight, invading her personal space multiple times, and when she retaliates with a slap, tells her to eat his dick. He has since called upon his Twitter fans and fellow-cunts to tell people like this woman to eat their dicks. From this I presume he’s talking only to the male of the repulsive and hopefully small community.

Was the woman – a Diane – a nice person? Hell no. She was one of those who complain incessantly about the inevitable, magnifying their own problem to such an extent that there is no room in their heads to accommodate the rest of the world. Of course, our only access to any info on Diane and indeed the whole incident is from Elan’s testimony, and as we’ve established before, he’s something of an immature cunt, so one can’t quite take his word for the absolute truth. But let us assume this happened, and he was at least right about the fact that when an attendant tried to sympathise with her Thanksgiving flight delays by saying he was being kept away from his family too, she said, “This is not about you”. Had a fellow passenger reminded her politely but firmly, that the staff was suffering just as she was suffering, and they had to work through it in the bargain, I’d be all for them. It’s very difficult to tolerate entitled people throwing fits at other people compelled by the wage and social hierarchy to smile politely and put up with them. It shows a flash of the ugly, selfish underbelly of humanity that makes the bile rise.

On the other hand, the woman could have been ill, in the middle of an emergency, of an anxious disposition, or not capable of dealing with changes to schedule due to a differently tuned mind. Let us also assume, for Elan’s benefit, that she was not any of these things.

Which in no way excuses what he did to harass her all throughout her flight. After his Twitter updates, which were fine and dandy and richly deserved by someone who was being mean to service staff. Then he started sending her successive little notes, boasting later that he enjoyed goading her immensely, and had wine delivered to her with the comment “Hopefully if you drink it, your mouth won’t be able to talk”. After that, when Diane retorted via a note of her own that he had no compassion, he tried to have two little bottles of vodka delivered to her, and when the attendant refused, walked past her, leaning into her personal space to drop them onto her table. He then recorded the sort of thrill and fear this act brought to him, not unlike the excitement of a truant child who throws a rock through a neighbour’s window.

By Elan’s own admission, she was seeking help for this harassment. “She is pressing the call button a lot”, he reports, after his harassment first began to escalate. Then she wrote him a second note, asking him to stop interfering with her and threatening to involve the authorities. Probably realising how little support she would receive from any kind of authority, Elan disregarded her completely. Finally, at the point of exit for this flight, she walked up to him and slapped him for what must have been a horrible flight for her. And then what happened? Well, of course the guard at the point immediately restrained her, and urged Elan twice to call the cops on her.

The thing about her violence is this. Supposedly an entire long flight of harassment across the United States – during which she was supposedly extended no support, because Elan gloats that the male attendant “making a ‘let’s just pretend this never happened’ face” at him, and “shaking his head a lot” – because the woman was annoying and dismissive of the service staff. This is unbelievably out of proportion with her offence, and a terrible retaliation besides, because it does nothing to make the woman realise how awful she has been and inspire her to make amends, but instead fuels her belief that the universe is conspiring to mess with her. In return for the absurd harassment and emotional assault on her, Elan gets a slap in the face. Given his idea of vengeance, I’d say it was perfectly in proportion.

But because of his jackassery, someone who was just an irksome person escalated to becoming a potential jail-bird for at least a few hours, while he, the agent of this change, gets away scot-free, admitting his delight with himself and being lauded on media. And lauded on media is right, for the promotion of this piece on HuffPost’s side bar is this: “LOOK: Annoying Airplane Passenger Got Exactly What She Deserved”.

He later says, apparently, that it was class solidarity that made me him do it, because he had had low-level jobs and suffered women like Diane himself. It’s a pretty excuse, that completely doesn’t hold. First, as we said, he didn’t say a single thing to make Diane aware of her entitlement or rudeness, instead escalating the matter till violence erupted. Second, if anything, the incident shifted attention completely from a classist slight to a provocative harassing ‘prank’, and the self-adulatory playing-to-the-gallery on Twitter. If social justice was somehow served in the process, it has passed completely under my radar.

In short, on the day America unwittingly celebrates the massacre of its first people, Elan and fans of his little vigilante escapade can proudly add institutionalised immaturity misogyny to the list.

In the Belly of the Beast: Peggy Mohan

A very interesting piece by Peggy Mohan in Kafila on ‘global systems’ and their flaws: (My own opinions on the matter are far too convoluted to hold interest)

Human beings, like cells, take up their specialized roles within the organism, allowing it to live. A few, always opportunistic, manage to find privileged positions. But the majority of the population simply plays along, with no strong opinions while things are good, neither helping nor harming, concerned only with its own survival. And life goes on because the sheer size of the megasystem insulates it from day to day feedback and need for course correction.

… We have all seen big systems on a roll suddenly come crashing down because they are inherently fragile, unsustainable, their structure totally dependent on their energy flow. The megasystem is inscrutable: its outward strength can mask even a terminal decline. Our job, then, is to study the beast and be alert to the signs, and ready with a road map back to a world that is our size.



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