[For those that don’t know yet, Rimi is my nickname]
Me, idly: If I ever have a daughter, I shall call her Tungtaang.
My friend K, typing industriously beside me: Hmm. Ooh, wait! You should call her Tung when you’re happy with her, and Taang when you’re telling her off.
Me: Like, [cooes] ‘Tooong’, and [roars] ‘TAAANG!!!‘ ?
K: Exactly! And once she’s learned which is which, switch the names to mess with her head.
M: To mess with her head?
K, getting really excited: Oh yes! That’s the best part about having children — they’ll believe *whatever* you tell them. You can SO mess with their heads. Power trip, mamah! I have always wanted to have children just so I could fuck up the insides of their brains!
M: K, my love. If you ever have children, I will swoop in like an eagle and snatch them away from you. Aunty Rimi to the Rescue!
K: Muhahahaha, baybee! I’ve cleverly conned you into bringing up my children for me!
My friends are nuts.