This post was due a week back, but it isn’t something I wanted to advertise to the world.
Being a parent is hard, especially when you’re handicapped by language and species. We adored our second pup Burfi, but Kaju and he never quite took to each other1. The house was filled growls and consequent howls, and we noticed that while Burfi was definitely doing better in a home – glossier coat, regular meals, lots of cuddles – Kaju was becoming more aggressive, even towards us.
After four days of living in noise and anxiety-hell (the pups would try to rip each other’s throats out – we couldn’t even sleep in peace), we finally decided to give up Burfi. It was bloody hard, given that we had fallen for him, hard, but it was even harder for him, to be suddenly ejected from the home he thought he’d finally found.
The thing is, I could have given Kaju away instead of Burfi. He is friendly and playful, has a soft, furry coat, and great big ‘love-me!’ eyes. He probably had better chance of finding another home than the very affectionate but tiny, fur-free Burfi. But Kaju had been with us longer, and felt more ‘ours’ than the homeless little pup who came later. And all our lives we have conditioned to protect what we see as ours, over what might be logically or ethically superior. So we handed Burfi back to the person who had first delivered him to our place, and she took him away in the hot afternoon sun.
Clearly, we’re not as great at the parenting gig as we thought we had been, but still, I suppose, it’s better to have the strength to put the pups’ interests first, than our desire to fill our home with adorableness. I’m bothered by my bias between two pups I should have loved equally, but I hope Burfi finds a loving home soon. Much love to you, Burfi darling.