You didn’t know we had procured a large second-hand TV for the World Cup, did you?
Haha, haha, HAHAHAHA!
No more live-stream hopping from one frozen tab to another! No more creeping into people’s places to catch a precious few minutes of the game! No more reading Guardian Live as an only resort! After many many years, home tevee!
Starting an hour and a half from now, we shall watch the (horribly exploitative and totally immoral) FIFA 2014 World Cup in our own drawing room, wearing our own tattered shorts and tees, drinking Old Monk from our OWN CHIPPED MUGS!
Hallelujah! Mazel Tov! Dhinka chika!